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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The heart to heart --Mom-Family-The De Pintos-Lianna-Erin-Sorie-Bukie-Chandra-Dayna-Carm

I love my family and I love my friends. Yesterday, I had a heart to heart moment with my mother over the phone. She has to be the busiest woman I know. I was sad sometimes as a child, seeing my mother was always busy raising us 3 kids on her own---this took out of our playtime, keep in mind this was a child's thought. I'm just reflecting here, I would not change it for the world . According to last night, she wouldn't either.

My mom is the reason why I am the person who I am today. If that makes sense, she is the reason why I strive to be a better person each day. I am so blessed to have what I feel is the best role-model for me. I couldn't ask for anyone else because no one is as great to me in my eyes.

My comfort from being many miles away is the fact that I am my mother's daughter. Those words are more valuable than any man made object or feeling evoked on this earth. The feelings, the love, the respect--- is far greater than I. I suppose my love is great-- My family is small so my mom and my brothers, and my uncles & aunts on her side is virtually all I have.

We are a God fearing family. God has always been the captain as we navigated through the seas of issues, issues, and more issues. God has worked miracles and transformed us all for the better. Just to digress slightly, one of the greatest experiences I've witnessed in college at Rutgers University-- was experiencing other cultures besides my own. This also came with witnessing and respecting other person's religious beliefs are lack of.

I appreciate everything in life, just in my book God has been my Captain. My brothers are growing before my eyes, as being handsome strong intelligent young men of society. I am a very proud sister. I can't believe how my brother Brian is so mature for his age. He helps a great deal with my youngest brother, Michael. He is a character in his own way. I love his smile and his big incisors-- well two front teeth.

I just find myself wishing Christmas was here so I can be with my family. I'll be enjoying my Thanksgiving with friends this year- My Italian Family. I love the De Pintos, I really do. I have not had a friend so pure as Lianna, which is one of the many reasons why she is my best friend. She truly has my best interests at heart, as I do her as well. I also appreciate and love my close friend Erin-- she is bright and unique. We are very much alike in a lot of ways. She has such a great artistic flair to her-- I find that this is a rare quality to share with someone who is, like myself, in route in becoming a health professional. It is a rare quality indeed.

Sorie-- how can I forget him? He's A true soul-mate. He's my best friend as well. I can't believe he has been in my life since age 19. Whoa. I Skyped him the other day-- that was kool. He is the reason why I knew about the brain cancer clinical researcher position. He is always looking out for me-- even when I say, "Back Off." Two interviews later and all. I have such great friends.

Carmelys is a sweetheart and a loyal friend as well. I often see her as a younger or the younger sister I've never had.There are other friends who I hold dear to me. I just can't fit everyone in this post. I only mentioned those who have been in constant contact with me this past year or who I've got real close too.

I can go on to write about my childhood- adolescent pals Bukie, Chandra, & Dayna. Words alone can't describe. You all are people who I see myself growing old with.

To sum everything up, I guess you can say I am in love with my mother, family,and friends. I am very much in love with them. I sort of understand it when Angelina Jolie said, " I am so in love with my brother right now." It's a familial/platonic love rest assured it's not romantic love, well maybe for my soul-mate it is.

Go Out and Kiss Someone, You know you Want to!
Happy Thanksgiving.

Labels: family, friends, life, life application, love, thankful, thanks

Monday, November 2, 2009

PART:I My time at MISS NJ USA 2010 Pageant & Info about the LFM Series Film: "Model Walk" - airs for the rest of the season

I am going to discuss an event that occurred several days ago. I'm also taking the time to talk about one of the films I had the honor of being featured in earlier this summer.

First I would like to say, "I really should be checking my PO BOX a lot more". I originally bought a PO BOX to separate business mail from my personal mail, but when your PO BOX is in a whole other town, you're less likely to check it as often as you should. Well, shortly before my trip to Alaska I received a letter from Donald Trump. I am sure several young women know what I am talking about. It was a letter to apply to hopefully participate in this year's Miss New Jersey USA 2010 Pageant! This must have been the second time in my entire lifetime that I received such a notice.

The first time was during my freshman year of college when I was pretty much engrossed in my pre-medical classes, I could not find the time to raise sponsorship and get involved in it. Now this time around I was receiving this notice as a college graduate who has already completed her Medical School applications and was hungry for some excitement. I whispered to myself my famous words, "Why NOT?". I could write a novel as to why I wanted to participate in this pageant. It goes far beyond the scope of being just a "beauty pageant". There is beauty beyond the physical layers of what we see. Let me explain.

It is not my job to find out why many don't understand my motives, place, or "the big picture" of all things that I wish to do, see, and conquer. It is my job in becoming the woman who I desired to be at 8, 18, and now 23. The woman who I envisioned to become: powerful, bright, worldly, & articulate. It is my JOB to at least attempt to partake in activities that would foster growth and help me blossom into that woman. I saw it with this pageant.

Do you know what it's like to campaign in less than a few weeks for over $1k, after coming from a trip like Alaska?

It's tough. There are a few barriers that need to be broken for one. You have to let go of all insecurities you may have. The strongest women have them too, this I know for sure. You have to believe you deserve it! You must walk, breathe, talk as if you do. Raising sponsorship is garnering support and believers in everything that you do! I decided to try my best to avoid family & friends for monetary donations. I raised the bulk of it through small businesses.

It changed me.

I don't know what it was really. It could have been going to that famous Thai spot that I often frequented, the doctor offices I often passed, or riding up to cities I rarely visited but soon found hidden treasures.

It changed me.

I suppose what changed me most was needing to raise my last stick of $300 the day before the competition. I called a best friend in a panic. I believe I said to her ," I think I just found my own "Audacity of Hope" moment". Before I get "the eye brow raiser", I will explain it with a question.

Have you ever found yourself in a pretty hopeless situation? While the only thing that is fueling you is your desire to be apart of something so great that you could almost taste it? Well, that's all I felt during the evening on the 15th ( the day before the pageant). I felt that way in my "let's bring it ensemble" 4 inch heels and a knee length gray pleated dress by Calvin Klein's --- in the midst of terenchal rain. YES. It was raining DOGS and ELEPHANTS that night. I just about visited 3 towns in New Jersey and spent about 4 hours campaigning to just come up short with 300 left.

What happened? I regrouped. That's what happened. I repositioned my thoughts and approach. Once I did that I was able to make the phone call.

"Hello?"

Yes, Pageant Headquarters..

"This is Amanda, and I suppose I will be able to make it. Just raised the last bit"

Well, it was something along those lines.

The best thing that I did get from this situation besides meeting amazing people, was a new outlook. I've always knew what it was like to witness compassion directly with my not-for-profit and the funds we helped raised for organizations such as American Cancer Society & Autism Speaks.

It was "refreshing" to see it all again, it was rewarding to find total strangers believe in me and support me in attempting to have my own opportunity.

In the end, it was all about opportunity and a chance--- to live out a dream.

Congrats Cheona Greene: Miss New Jersey USA 2010

I leave you with a short clip. Also, check the link below to READ MORE about a film which aired today and I think runs every other Monday for this season--which I am featured in.

PS:The title for this entry was a phrase from our opening number song by Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"

Labels: bold, control, faith, friends, goals, leader, life, life application, opportunity

Monday, April 13, 2009

One friend, Two friend, Three Friend--Foe

One lesson I've learned growing up is that friends come as quickly as they go. True friends-real friends are the ones who stick around.

They're the ones who understand you before you give an explanation about an issue.

They're the ones who lift you up at your darkest moments, and are the ones who make you desire to become a better person.

The majority of my adult life I've lived with a free heart. A heart which greeted pain as well as happiness with the same welcoming smile. I opened new friendship and rekindled old friendship without a trace of cynicism. As I mature I find that friendships are what you make them to be. My discovery is that friendship is only alive if the two persons were benefiting from the relationship. Friendship is real. It is beautiful and the one fruitful thing that truly sustains life here on Earth.

"Humans are social creatures.If we all lived in isolation, I highly doubt that we would grow into the magnificent masterpieces we sought out from birth to become. Rekindle your friendships"

Recently in life, I have become a skeptic with certain friendships I had formed. This is partly true because I met an overwhelming series of disappointments. The type of disappointments that left you distraught while thinking to yourself, " I can't believe he or she did this? ". I've learned not to take it by heart. I've also learned to not hold it against anyone--we are all human. However, I have the ability to edit& delete people in and out my life, in order to live happily. This is a philosophy I have maintained and won't give up. By doing so I've made room for more positive relationships. With this newly adopted philosophy my friends and family grew considerably.

I am lucky to have at least one close true friend. I have a handful to be exact- one hand 1,2,3,4.. not including family. There is only one friend who I can completely let my guard down. I've known Lianna since my freshman year of undergraduate school. We got close within the span of two years I would say, when we lived together at our alma mater.

People need friends who make them want to reach for the stars!---and beyond
She is everything I would look for in the ideal friend. I trust her-

Labels: friends, friendship, happiness, life, life application