THE AE JOURNAL

UPDATE TIP: View website updates: (HERE) *Next Entry--TBA
Note: Main domain is AMANDAEBOKOSIA.COM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I suppose being busy has its perks? Check list of issues equates to blessings

I suppose being busy has its perks? Yes it does. I am sitting here with issues that others may glance at as being blessings. I suppose I should take my issues as blessings and react to them as such, praise and give thanks.

God is good.

My issues (blessings in disguise):

booking a trip to see my lovely family

figuring out if I should take a proposal to go to London early spring-- for a shoot!

wondering if I should paint this wall-- w/o knowing if I'll be accepted to go to a medical school out of state, if God plans it that way-- If I get accepted this cycle-- let us pray.

figuring out an article to write for this company about relationships-- it's been 7 days since my last one! This is how I make some money as a writer, besides this website

Wondering when I'll upload all my work for The Gem Project and get things back up to my "order" of business for 2010

following up for a possible researcher position for interview no.3 I hope, for brain cancer research--- my life's dream, well besides being a neurologist one day

Planning to meet new and old friends before the break of 2010

Being a better Christian than I was yesterday, you shall never rob me of mistakes--- I will make plenty-- I'll just try to do the "right" thing

I want to try to be the best in all that I do. Honestly, I am quite disappointed sometimes-- I am an odd sort off perfectionist, my mind is a circus yet I want order in my surroundings. Funny.

Life is a muffin-- I just can't seem to taste it-- I've found myself walking through it with a cold.
I fear it has robbed me of my senses to indulge in the satisfaction of that muffin. A cold.

I love life. I get bogged down with it all, but I CAN'T seem to shake off being busy. I suppose I won't even try, I was born this way--- I can imagine when everything is said and done---- I'd leave this world shaking in my bones.

Be powerful always my love.

AE QUOTE: Key to Power: Being able to utilize and master all pertinent outlets for your mission-- don't be limited to just one.

Labels: faith, goals, happiness, issues, life, life applications

Monday, November 2, 2009

PART:I My time at MISS NJ USA 2010 Pageant & Info about the LFM Series Film: "Model Walk" - airs for the rest of the season

I am going to discuss an event that occurred several days ago. I'm also taking the time to talk about one of the films I had the honor of being featured in earlier this summer.

First I would like to say, "I really should be checking my PO BOX a lot more". I originally bought a PO BOX to separate business mail from my personal mail, but when your PO BOX is in a whole other town, you're less likely to check it as often as you should. Well, shortly before my trip to Alaska I received a letter from Donald Trump. I am sure several young women know what I am talking about. It was a letter to apply to hopefully participate in this year's Miss New Jersey USA 2010 Pageant! This must have been the second time in my entire lifetime that I received such a notice.

The first time was during my freshman year of college when I was pretty much engrossed in my pre-medical classes, I could not find the time to raise sponsorship and get involved in it. Now this time around I was receiving this notice as a college graduate who has already completed her Medical School applications and was hungry for some excitement. I whispered to myself my famous words, "Why NOT?". I could write a novel as to why I wanted to participate in this pageant. It goes far beyond the scope of being just a "beauty pageant". There is beauty beyond the physical layers of what we see. Let me explain.

It is not my job to find out why many don't understand my motives, place, or "the big picture" of all things that I wish to do, see, and conquer. It is my job in becoming the woman who I desired to be at 8, 18, and now 23. The woman who I envisioned to become: powerful, bright, worldly, & articulate. It is my JOB to at least attempt to partake in activities that would foster growth and help me blossom into that woman. I saw it with this pageant.

Do you know what it's like to campaign in less than a few weeks for over $1k, after coming from a trip like Alaska?

It's tough. There are a few barriers that need to be broken for one. You have to let go of all insecurities you may have. The strongest women have them too, this I know for sure. You have to believe you deserve it! You must walk, breathe, talk as if you do. Raising sponsorship is garnering support and believers in everything that you do! I decided to try my best to avoid family & friends for monetary donations. I raised the bulk of it through small businesses.

It changed me.

I don't know what it was really. It could have been going to that famous Thai spot that I often frequented, the doctor offices I often passed, or riding up to cities I rarely visited but soon found hidden treasures.

It changed me.

I suppose what changed me most was needing to raise my last stick of $300 the day before the competition. I called a best friend in a panic. I believe I said to her ," I think I just found my own "Audacity of Hope" moment". Before I get "the eye brow raiser", I will explain it with a question.

Have you ever found yourself in a pretty hopeless situation? While the only thing that is fueling you is your desire to be apart of something so great that you could almost taste it? Well, that's all I felt during the evening on the 15th ( the day before the pageant). I felt that way in my "let's bring it ensemble" 4 inch heels and a knee length gray pleated dress by Calvin Klein's --- in the midst of terenchal rain. YES. It was raining DOGS and ELEPHANTS that night. I just about visited 3 towns in New Jersey and spent about 4 hours campaigning to just come up short with 300 left.

What happened? I regrouped. That's what happened. I repositioned my thoughts and approach. Once I did that I was able to make the phone call.

"Hello?"

Yes, Pageant Headquarters..

"This is Amanda, and I suppose I will be able to make it. Just raised the last bit"

Well, it was something along those lines.

The best thing that I did get from this situation besides meeting amazing people, was a new outlook. I've always knew what it was like to witness compassion directly with my not-for-profit and the funds we helped raised for organizations such as American Cancer Society & Autism Speaks.

It was "refreshing" to see it all again, it was rewarding to find total strangers believe in me and support me in attempting to have my own opportunity.

In the end, it was all about opportunity and a chance--- to live out a dream.

Congrats Cheona Greene: Miss New Jersey USA 2010

I leave you with a short clip. Also, check the link below to READ MORE about a film which aired today and I think runs every other Monday for this season--which I am featured in.

PS:The title for this entry was a phrase from our opening number song by Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"

Labels: bold, control, faith, friends, goals, leader, life, life application, opportunity

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Butterfly-Angels.

I remember writing the following earlier today:
"Let's be butterflies and transform into a being that "others" deemed impossible --AT FIRST! Let's all be GREAT & mature into the "Monarchs" we were destined to become!" This year has been all about self transformation by acquiring knowledge not just from books, but by conversing with different people.

Last Sunday, was one of the most beautiful Sundays I've ever experienced. There are several moments in my life where I have a conviction that things just fit like pieces to a puzzle. Looking back, I wanted to often shout:" Where is the director of my life". I already know the answer to that, my director is GOD. Although, I am very into my own faith but I do love to learn about others. I had always said that I wished I took a theology course in college. It simply never happened. Well, that is what books are for right? I remember a friend of mine giving me the following book:

The Faith Club|By:Ranya Idliby

A Muslim, A Chistian, A Jew ---Three Woman Search for Understanding

The Faith Club is a novel that explores the lives of three inspirational ladies and their faiths. It is a must have if you wish to seek better understanding among people as a whole and their faiths. Let me back track---Last Sunday, was one of the most beautiful Sundays I've ever experienced. I was on my way from the Montclair/Belleville area to a church in Newark,NJ-- Why the commute you ask? I've grown accustomed to attending my church in Newark since I had lived there during my under-graduate years.

Last Sunday, I was running late but that did not hinder me. I made a promise that I would go so I was determined to fulfill it. I decided to just attend one of the many churches in my area. As I started to walk down a side walk I met her--Miss Ruth, an elderly woman sitting by a bench smiling to herself. I approached her smiling back and asked her if she knew if the Presbyterian church at the corner had an afternoon service. She responded back, " I know nothing of that church- I only go to Sacred Heart Catholic church". She added, " Please sit with me, I am waiting for the 12:00pm mass and you're welcomed to attend if you like". I was hesitant then, I never attended a Catholic Church. I decided to comply and sat down beside her.
That is when she spoke:

I will be 90 in August!
Wow that is truly a blessing!-(me)
Yes, I hope you will live just as long, and I hope you will be just as happy.
I really hope so...-(me)

Some people hold the keys to treasures we are yet to unlock!
I attended mass with her and had a glorious time doing so. I just enjoyed being with someone who has experienced things I am yet to find out. Surely, I will attend again a week or two before her birthday.At the end of the service she gave me a butterfly. It is so beautiful--it's a magnet that I can post on my fridge. It is worthy enough to wear as a broach.

On Thursday, I will be meeting with Dennis Bellone again for the film about love! Live your best life your way!

Plug: Check out my newest FB/ colleague friend :Lamech Obwoge.

Labels: books, butterflies, church, faith, life, life application, listening lessons