THE AE JOURNAL

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

At a time where playful tugs became love taps-- I transformed into an innovator

<< Image: A very young Amanda A. Ebokosia

If I could sit back and step outside the box of my life, it would most likely parallel a Lifetime series. I'm certain that I am not the only one, who would describe their life in this way. Life is so precious-- I was so fortunate to see this as a young ten year-old gal, who was clad with a purple trench coat that had dazzling pink buttons. "This" 10 year-old gal was captivated by the world around her-- inquisitive much? Yes. "This" 10 year-old gal would climb hills and fill her red lunch box with ants and millipedes--- and run home and turn into a scientist for the day. "This" 10 year-old gal would lay on her back on the pavement outside of her school backyard to watch the beautiful cloud formations in the sky. "This" 10 year-old gal was I.

I dreamed without limitations then-- as I do so now.

What did I see in these cloud formations? rabbits, houses, beaches, my family, & everything I ever desired.

I saw it all, my visions of life. I had tunnel vision. This was a vision that most girls my age were not quite picking up on. Their body's were changing-- and they were noticing guys. I wasn't really interesting in such things then.

Well, what does this have to do with today? Everything.

Life was just one big puzzle back then. I don't think life will ever stop being a puzzle quite frankly. There was only one thing that I was sure of. It was that I should remain focused in what interested me, despite what others were doing--even if I was not considered to be in the norm. Who is normal anyway?

Now I'm reflecting on a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine, who was dismayed with the negative energy she was receiving with her newly acclaimed success. I started referencing the 48 Laws of Power, which has an interesting passage about friendship & business. In summation, we discussed how the higher an individual climbs up the pyramid of success-- the less persons they would have to befriend in the process.

A person can have several associates but it's highly unlikely that a they would become friends--close friends with each one. In fact, I discussed research findings about the complications of female platonic relationships over (here).

We concluded several things in this conversation, here are the results:

Don't take negative energy personal from associates or people who you thought were your friends. Reason: All the energy you're spending time worrying about what they are saying, can be harnessed to fuel you or your projects.
Negative energy comes from within. It is toxic when you hear it. The person releasing it is also toxic. Therefore, be upset for only one thing-- that this person is not happy with their own current situation-- it has nothing really to do with you. Reason: Negative energy is like a cancer-- if it spreads it captures-- you must win the battle.
People will do wrong by you, there is no secret to this-- we are all human. Don't take it personally -- focus and flip the switch that turns that tunnel vision on. Reason: When you focus and pay attention to what matters most, you'll attain your goals a lot faster. Don't waste precious time.

Live your life- turn on that tunnel vision.

Labels: control, friendship, goals, happiness, life, life application, success

Monday, November 2, 2009

PART:I My time at MISS NJ USA 2010 Pageant & Info about the LFM Series Film: "Model Walk" - airs for the rest of the season

I am going to discuss an event that occurred several days ago. I'm also taking the time to talk about one of the films I had the honor of being featured in earlier this summer.

First I would like to say, "I really should be checking my PO BOX a lot more". I originally bought a PO BOX to separate business mail from my personal mail, but when your PO BOX is in a whole other town, you're less likely to check it as often as you should. Well, shortly before my trip to Alaska I received a letter from Donald Trump. I am sure several young women know what I am talking about. It was a letter to apply to hopefully participate in this year's Miss New Jersey USA 2010 Pageant! This must have been the second time in my entire lifetime that I received such a notice.

The first time was during my freshman year of college when I was pretty much engrossed in my pre-medical classes, I could not find the time to raise sponsorship and get involved in it. Now this time around I was receiving this notice as a college graduate who has already completed her Medical School applications and was hungry for some excitement. I whispered to myself my famous words, "Why NOT?". I could write a novel as to why I wanted to participate in this pageant. It goes far beyond the scope of being just a "beauty pageant". There is beauty beyond the physical layers of what we see. Let me explain.

It is not my job to find out why many don't understand my motives, place, or "the big picture" of all things that I wish to do, see, and conquer. It is my job in becoming the woman who I desired to be at 8, 18, and now 23. The woman who I envisioned to become: powerful, bright, worldly, & articulate. It is my JOB to at least attempt to partake in activities that would foster growth and help me blossom into that woman. I saw it with this pageant.

Do you know what it's like to campaign in less than a few weeks for over $1k, after coming from a trip like Alaska?

It's tough. There are a few barriers that need to be broken for one. You have to let go of all insecurities you may have. The strongest women have them too, this I know for sure. You have to believe you deserve it! You must walk, breathe, talk as if you do. Raising sponsorship is garnering support and believers in everything that you do! I decided to try my best to avoid family & friends for monetary donations. I raised the bulk of it through small businesses.

It changed me.

I don't know what it was really. It could have been going to that famous Thai spot that I often frequented, the doctor offices I often passed, or riding up to cities I rarely visited but soon found hidden treasures.

It changed me.

I suppose what changed me most was needing to raise my last stick of $300 the day before the competition. I called a best friend in a panic. I believe I said to her ," I think I just found my own "Audacity of Hope" moment". Before I get "the eye brow raiser", I will explain it with a question.

Have you ever found yourself in a pretty hopeless situation? While the only thing that is fueling you is your desire to be apart of something so great that you could almost taste it? Well, that's all I felt during the evening on the 15th ( the day before the pageant). I felt that way in my "let's bring it ensemble" 4 inch heels and a knee length gray pleated dress by Calvin Klein's --- in the midst of terenchal rain. YES. It was raining DOGS and ELEPHANTS that night. I just about visited 3 towns in New Jersey and spent about 4 hours campaigning to just come up short with 300 left.

What happened? I regrouped. That's what happened. I repositioned my thoughts and approach. Once I did that I was able to make the phone call.

"Hello?"

Yes, Pageant Headquarters..

"This is Amanda, and I suppose I will be able to make it. Just raised the last bit"

Well, it was something along those lines.

The best thing that I did get from this situation besides meeting amazing people, was a new outlook. I've always knew what it was like to witness compassion directly with my not-for-profit and the funds we helped raised for organizations such as American Cancer Society & Autism Speaks.

It was "refreshing" to see it all again, it was rewarding to find total strangers believe in me and support me in attempting to have my own opportunity.

In the end, it was all about opportunity and a chance--- to live out a dream.

Congrats Cheona Greene: Miss New Jersey USA 2010

I leave you with a short clip. Also, check the link below to READ MORE about a film which aired today and I think runs every other Monday for this season--which I am featured in.

PS:The title for this entry was a phrase from our opening number song by Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"

Labels: bold, control, faith, friends, goals, leader, life, life application, opportunity

Friday, March 20, 2009

UNIFICATION-THE GEM PROJECT, INC.THEN AND NOW-my silence is broken.

The first day of Spring could not have arrived sooner! I woke up in a fright when I first saw that it was snowing this morning.Luckily, just as quickly as the snow fell it left and since melted away.The aside flower photo on the left was taken with my phone. I took it a few days ago when I was on my morning run.I am so glad that I can wave my palm to winter, like some horrible ending to a movie that just seemed to drag and mislead all who watched. I proudly hold my cup of fine pure Spring water and say,"CHEERS TO NEW BEGINNINGS". Spring is my favorite season.. It's not too hot nor is it too cold. I can't wait until it does get warmer so I can dust off all my pretty spring/summer dresses.

A few days ago I got too happy when I felt a slight touch of sun. Yes, I was that lady who you walked passed, and may have muttered under your breath, "What is she thinking?". I came out in my denim shorts and leather cowboy boots as if I lived in California and not chilly Jersey in the middle of Winter.

-I did not think I would pull one of those again-

I have been quiet about The Gem Project because it is going through an expansion period and I am trying to run it differently. Several of the events this term has been halted in an effort to have a smooth transition.I have realized that in order to build a strong infrastructure with an organization-you must iron all wrinkles. In due time I plan on expanding and having a new staff aboard to help execute our goals effectively. I also need to observe the tactics I use as a leader and face my flaws. I have a few flaws I am trying to battle. I see The Gem Project thriving and becoming something beautiful and well needed in our community today.

-I MUST ACT SMART IN THE DECISIONS I MAKE-

I am also amending my BY LAWS of the way my organization is governed- and taking the proper avenues in becoming a better leader.

I am flawed. I admit that but I have passion and that is what has driven many of my thoughts into action.

A successful leader faces his/her flaws with their best armor and face!

Let the games begin. I am suited and ready for great results this year.

Labels: bold, control, life, life application, success

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dream Without Limitations, Like a Child...

I remember a speech I gave a while back, about passion and the importance of fulfilling the goals you set before yourself. It was a funny speech, I openly asked the crowd if they recalled as a child what they "wished" to be when they grew up?

I responded for them by saying they would have possibly said, " I want to be a teacher, lawyer,fireman, police officer,engineer,writer,artist, and BATMANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" . I shouted the last one at the top of my lungs. I made sure the last one was known. I love children because they have what we all had but lose as we get older-innocence. It is this quality that often allowed us as children to dream beyond measure.

When one dreams beyond measure, they're not hindered by the "How, I Can't,NOT, and No". They're driven by desire and imagination. These are the elements which motivate individuals to feverishly paint their ideal beginnings or endings--only later should they contemplate the how.

I have a confession-- I am a big kid at heart. When I am around the right people, I smile to the point where my face looks like its a still art portrait display. A few days ago I swung on an actual swing--in the middle of Central Park. OK OK It was at the edge of Central Park.

I've been traveling a lot these days to New York. It has mostly been for business which for me, always leads to pleasure---self-gratification eg.shopping,running,...etc). I am currently working on two films. I will expand on them tomorrow. I never thought I would do a film --like I always say: IT IS THE YEAR OF SAYING YES YES YES.

PHOTO: The two above photos above were taken while on the train to NYC

Labels: bold, control, happiness, life, life application, me on tv, opportunity

Friday, March 6, 2009

When life throws you lemons put on red lipstick!

THIS YEAR HAS BEEN THE YEAR TO BE BOLD. I added a new twist to the quote, " When life throws you lemons, make lemonade". I say when life throws you lemons put on red lipstick! Be daring enjoy every moment in your life, no matter how big or small it is. Every obstacle is a challenge and should be tackled as such.

These past few days I've been doing things that I would not normally do. It has been the year of saying:YES YES YES. Currently, I have accumulated the best experiences from living by that philosophy this year. Today, I sit here exhausted because I am full with my daily 4 course meals of the following:

Appetizer:Feel Good Pudding~ Waking up happy and working myself out. This means a few series of crunches and stretches. If I am lucky to wake up extra early, I'll add in a 30-45 minute jog. I have not done that in a long time.I smile at those 20 lap jogs around of a 400m track. Its funny, that was like a year ago.

Salad:Mind Crunch Lettuce~ I try to stimulate my mind daily reading a good book or news article. If I have limited time, I read up my new articles online at cnn.com or nytimes.com on my phone. It keeps me up to date with the current events. I personally feel that it is important. I don't depend on television nor do I watch it much. Which is why I need to make sure I have my mind crunch lettuce.

Main Course:Superwoman Delight~ I have a lot going on in my life so I divide it in threes. I organize tasks the day before in lists called: Personal Life, Academia, & Business. I quickly see results by completing each task in its own category. I do not overwhelm myself by listing several things. The key is to be realistic and set your goals in visible writing. You must also take advantage of your time and not procrastinate ( I KNOW IT IS HARD). I'm not perfect and I continuously try to find better ways in being efficient in everything I do.

Dessert:Sweet tooth nourishing Flan~ I try to nourish the relationships I choose to have with particular people. I start with God , myself, family and then friends. I need to nourish myself by taking care of my mind,body, and spirit.You must love and take care of yourself in order to build fruitful strong relationships with others. I do have a favorite list on my phone, the list includes my family and friends who mean a lot to me. I try to make some time during the weekend to reach out to at least one friend. I do this while I trying to keep in contact with my family during the week. Life suddenly becomes sweeter. I just can't wait to try my dessert of sweet tooth nourishing flan by the end of the day. Sometimes I even take this particular dessert early in the morning or afternoon!

Each day is soooooo exciting! I often think to myself about what things that I've not tried and can at that particular moment. Living each day is a gift from God.

ENJOY YOUR FOUR COURSE MEAL!

Current music listening to:Cassie ft. Fabolous-Super Model

Labels: bold, control, life